Lose Yourself in the Moment,
Not the (Hu)Man
Learn to date consciously and stop feeling like you just lost another year of your life.
I specialize in working with high-performing women (and men) who have everything figured out but their dating life – those who are ready to change how they think about romantic relationships and learn to trust themselves again in life and love.
Ashley M. Kelsch
Is it always about some guy?
We often look outside of ourselves for fulfillment, only to lose ourselves in the endless quest for “the one.” We become consumed and over-invested in one person; distracted from work, friendships and self-care. We feel uncertain, exhausted, depleted. And when it doesn’t work out, we regret the misstep, lose trust in our own judgment, and become judgmental of our own actions. We say we won’t lose ourselves next time … until the cycle starts all over again.
Throughout my life, I’ve asked myself this question too many times to count. I spent years trying to feel whole, loved, completed by someone else, only to lose myself time after time. I believed ‘meeting the one’ was what I was supposed to do. To be happy. To be successful. To live a full life. After every failed relationship, I was left feeling like something was deeply wrong with me. How come everyone else has someone but me?
Then I would dabble in being the self-empowered woman who wasn’t looking for anything serious, just casual sex. You know, Samantha from SATC. Hard working, sexy, I don’t need anyone or anything… Who wouldn’t want that life?! Turns out, I didn’t, but it took some serious waking up to find that out.
After looking aimlessly for “the one” and playing it cool by using sex to feel confident and powerful, I was ready to access my energy and inner wisdom in a way that would serve me and my relationships. I was ready to stop the self-sabotage, and instead, to satisfy myself, to choose myself first – and my relationship second.
Through years of trial, exploration, training, and a whole lot of life experience, I found tools that changed my life by changing the way I think. Over time, with work, I developed these tools into a system I bring to other seekers, explorers and everyday warriors like you – the Modern Renegade.
Today, I help Modern Renegades like you experience personal expansion and evolution. I can help you regain your sense of wonder, recognize your own wisdom and create the mental and spiritual practices that result in a more awakened, purpose-driven life.
I see you, Renegade.
Get started. Schedule your mini session now.
My Approach
It’s all in your thinking.
As the founder of a women’s lingerie boutique, I was also an advisor and confidante to my clients, helping women select and fit intimate apparel. I loved my work, but over 10 years, I saw a recurring pattern: In front of the curtain, I would see a strong, thoughtful, intelligent woman. Behind its screen, I heard personal stories of struggle, pain and doubt – not only about their bodies, but about their relationships, families and sense of purpose.
Over time, I began to clearly see how so many of us hold onto beliefs that no longer apply to who we’ve become. Stories we were told about ourselves and chose to carry with us. Life plans we followed as an assignment that were never our ideas to begin with.
Through an education in coaching and mindfulness practices, I arrived at one simple truth: Our thoughts create our outcomes. With every thought, you have an opportunity to think something else, something different, and to create a different result. If you can change what you think, and how you think, you can change your results.
Thinking
Feeling
Action
Results
Who I Work With
Does this sound like you?
I work with ambitious women (and men) who are open to transformation. The Modern Renegades who know it takes effort and real work to make shift happen. They’re people who have arrived at a point where they’re not willing to play it safe anymore or follow the script they were given. They’re ready to take chances – on new ideas and ways of thinking and showing up in the world. They’re seekers, explorers and everyday warriors, even when, from the outside, they look like everyone else. Does this sound like you? If so, let’s work together.
Discover a modern approach to coaching.
Whether you’ve worked with other coaches or this is your first time around, you’ll learn tools and techniques you can apply in your everyday life – lessons that will change the way you think, feel and act so you can create different results. They’re lessons you can build on over time – and that will be with you for life.
Coaching
Coaching for Modern Renegades
- ASSESS OBSTACLES AND DESIRES OUTCOMES
We assess where you are, uncover what you want in life and explore the obstacles that are holding you back from achieving your goals. - LEARN THOUGHT AWARENESS AND SELF-COACHING
I’ll teach you tools and techniques to become a spectator of your own thoughts and how to begin to direct and redirect them. - EXPLORE AND REDEFINE BELIEF SYSTEMS
We’ll dig into how your beliefs and the life you’ve created are based on past events. We’ll select what to let go of and redefine your belief system – on purpose. - CHOOSE THOUGHTS TO GUIDE FEELINGS
Feelings lead us to action – or inaction. You’ll learn how to choose thoughts that create feelings that drive your actions toward your desired outcomes. - MASTER YOUR EMOTIONS
Learn to feel without needing to self-soothe or buffer. Master mindfulness techniques to control your feelings and responses. - TAKE ACTION
We’ll set goals that allow you to test and apply your learning. You’ll learn how your brain is likely to respond when you stretch beyond your comfort zone. - REVIEW AND MAKE A PLAN
We’ll review your progress and create strategies to achieve new goals. You’ll make a plan to continue developing your skills through self-coaching.
My Programs
Modern Renegades Signature Programs
Wake Up Before Another Breakup
An 8-Week Coaching Program to Discover a New Approach to Relationships, Dating and Sex
In this eight-week coaching program, we begin by breaking the cycle of self-sabotage, second-guessing and pattern repetition in relationships so you can stop looking for “the one,” start trusting yourself again, and manifest new ways of loving – beginning with yourself.
Personal Renewal & Reinvention
A 4-Month Coaching Program to Understand and Implement Unconditional Self-Love
Now that you’ve discovered how romantic partners and physical intimacy are only one piece of the puzzle, you’re ready to learn about who you are and what you want from this life.
Filling the Well
A 3-Month Coaching Program to Discover Why You Drink, Planning for Moderation, and Drinking Alternatives
This program is not for those who identify as alcoholics or struggle with substance abuse.
Join the Modern Renegades Email List
Results
About Me
I’ve been there.
Like so many of my clients, I’ve had my share of self-doubt, insecurity and fear. I’ve struggled with my role as a woman, mother, partner and professional. Even when my life looked like a success on the outside, behind the curtain it was a different story.
I tried every last approach to treating my unhappiness, from substance use and overspending to yoga and overtraining. Despite some initial relief, the end results were always the same: I was still stuck with my own thoughts and the recurring question, “Is this all there is?”
Through coaching training, I came to understand the role of my own thinking in creating my outcomes. How with every thought, I had an opportunity to think something else, something different, that could cause a different feeling, and ultimately, a different result. When I began applying these concepts, I shattered my own beliefs about myself and discovered a new way of thinking and living.
I spent 20 years as an entrepreneur in real estate and retail while raising two children as a single mother. In my professional life, personal connection has always been my driving force. Throughout my career, my focus has been on helping my clients step out of the safe zone into who they really are. As a coach, I’m driven to empower people to find the answers and solutions that are true to their beliefs and the outcomes they seek.
I hold coaching certifications through the Life Coach School and I’m pursuing a certification in healing energies while studying meditation and mindfulness. In blending these disciplines, I’ve developed a system of coaching centered on cognitive awareness, inner wisdom and spiritual practice.
Coaching for Transformation and Personal Expansion with Ashley M. Kelsch
Inquire. Seek. Reveal.
Podcast
Listen in.
Want to learn more? Subscribe to my Modern Renegades podcast, a life coaching podcast for the person who isn’t interested in playing it safe. Each week, I share personal stories and interviews about meditation, dating, parenting – and how to use self-coaching in your daily life. Listen in to explore mental and spiritual practices that will inspire you to ask, seek and heal.
Check out my new series, “Pandemic Pivot,” including interviews with everyday Modern Renegades.
Ghosts of Past Lovers - When we think back to past relationships, many of us remember the terrible memories. The resentment, pain, anger, and judgement. And when we keep...Listen
Neutralize Your Thinking - Over the last few weeks, I’ve asked you to take a look at your past relationships and who you’ve been in them. That of...Listen
What’s Your Number? With Elizabeth Chapin and Leigh Jackson - We’re taking a break from our brains on dating today to explore the ancient personality tool, the Enneagram. If you aren’t familiar with the...Listen
Blog
Find more of my personal work and writing on my blog, including “Renegades on the Run,” with thoughts and inspiration for a community of runners.
Has dating changed since the pandemic started? - Sara Rodell of Loop and Tie and I caught up in May on my podcast while we were in quarantine. We talked business, her...Read Post
15 hours 3 days and counting… - Normally, prior to embarking on a road trip, I anticipate the long road ahead, no pun intended and visualize all the freedom the road...Read Post
Lessons learned from my lemon tree - Happy Sunday, Renegades (everyone knows its Sunday, right?) Friday night we experienced the most exquisite thunder and lightning show here in Austin, TX. I...Read Post
It’s like a moth being drawn to the flame. As you reach a certain point, you realize that you only see the projections of your own mind. Everything that’s happening to you is a teaching designed to burn out your old stuff. Your humanity isn’t an error. All your desires are part of your journey.