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Modern Renegades with Ashley Kelsch | Porcelain Pleasure with Adele Brydges

Ep #86

Porcelain Pleasure with Adele Brydges

Have you ever thought about our connection with ceramics? You may not have ever considered it, but as today’s guest points out, we are so used to using ceramics that we don’t realize the primal connection we have with them. And what better way to connect with ceramics than through pleasure?

Adele Brydges creates porcelain pleasure tools that bring a sense of intention and mindfulness to self-pleasure and partner play. She blends art and craft with method, process, and deferred gratification, and she has a passion for subversion and creating beautiful functional sensual implements which play with attitudes towards eroticism, intimacy, and art.

Tune in this week and hear more about Adele’s beautiful, handcrafted objects and how she advocates for sexuality and sensuality while speaking to gender and racial inclusion. We discuss the challenges she has faced being censored on social media and public platforms for her work, and how her work is so much more than simply creating sex toys.

What You Will Discover:

  • Where Adele’s work developed from and how she got into it.
  • The importance of being able to take responsibility for our own pleasure.
  • How Adele uses the limitations she faces to get creative.
  • My favorite objects that Adele has created.
  • Why Adele’s work is so far beyond just creating sex toys.
  • Some tips to use Adele’s products.

Resources Mentioned:

  • I’m taking tune in and turn on to another level, and I want to invite you to join me on the journey. I have created a space called the House of Other, it’s an unedited guide to finding pleasure. You’ll find my ratings, reviews, experiences, opinions and recommendations on all things I’m indulging in, as well as conversations and essays addressing all things cliteracy. Come on over and subscribe to join me on the journey, I’ll see you there.
  • Adele Brydges: Website | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | TikTok | Workshops
  • If you’re enjoying the tools and concepts I’m sharing each week about your brain on dating, you won’t want to miss out on working with me one-on-one. I’ve just launched my program, Wake Up Before Another Breakup, where in just 8 weeks, you won’t question if you can trust yourself to date or why you can’t find the one. Click here to learn more about it and how you can work with me.

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This is Ashley Kelsch and you are listening to Modern Renegades episode number 86.

Welcome to Modern Renegades in the name of love. A podcast that dives deep into understanding our bodies and minds on dating, sex, relationships and all the things we do in the name of love. Each week I’m going to be interviewing doctors, professionals, experts, and the die-hard love nerds to gain insight and get advice, or just riff on this human condition that almost everyone is trying to figure out.

Hello my Renegades, happy Friday to you. I am overjoyed to bring you this conversation today with Adele Brydges. Adele is an artist by trade whose focus is on ceramics, pottery, creating pleasure objects. But what you’re going to discover from listening in is her work, the emotional energy, the intent, the inspiration, is so much more nuanced, the meaning behind these objects she’s creating for you. It is intimate.

And Adele and I, we’ve been in contact for years. So I’m thrilled to finally be able bring into the world some of our ideas and yes, hints of future work together. But be sure to listen in today because not only are we going to discuss sex positivity and being in this space and working in this field, and this sort of censorship and pushback that she is under, I also face, but why we choose to stay and overcome and use our voices to advocate for. And also listen because we kind of go into detail about what some of our favourite pieces are from her collections, and we get a bit descriptive on ways to use.

So my reviews are coming soon to houseofother.blog, but if you’re interested in purchasing after you listen or you do like we all do and you head on over to her Instagram or her site and you find that you have everything you need to know to go ahead and hit, click, send, I want, purchase, buy, be sure to use the promo code houseofiothert15. You’re going to get a discount and that’s just or you my sweet listeners, so anyways I hope you enjoy. Thank you for tuning in and turning on with us, and until next week, stay on.

Ashley: Ms. Adele Brydges, how are you today?

Adele: I’m good, you?

Ashley: I’m doing pretty good. Thank you for asking. Yeah, I’m actually really good. It’s just noon here, you’re over in London, London, England.

Adele: It’s just gone 6pm I think.

Ashley: So you’ve had like a full day. Did you work today?

Adele: I didn’t. I have to say we just got back from holiday last night, so I’ve easing myself back into London life, plus deep cleaning my flat that I didn’t get to do before we went away. So I’m like, “I can’t return to a messy flat.” We’re pet sitting in Eastland and somewhere else.

Ashley: I love that. No need to rush into work. Although what we’re going to be talking about today is your work. And, of course, as an outsider who doesn’t do that for a living I’m like, “That must be so amazing and not like work because you’re creating art and sensual objects.” But that is your J-O-B.

Adele: It is.

Ashley: So for people tuning in tell us what you do.

Adele: This is the question I always get asked and I always get stumped because I’m like it should just fall off the tongue but it’s so many things, it’s not just one thing.

But the crux of what I do is creating porcelain pleasure tools that bring a sense of intention and mindfulness to self-pleasure and partner play.

Ashley: I read a quote that, I believe it was you, that said, “I have a passion for subversion, creating beautiful, functional, sensual implements which play with attitudes towards eroticism, intimacy, and art.” I read that and I was like, wow. Wow, that statement is so beautiful. I mean, it's just so impactful when you really think about it, right? Everything that you're doing, when you say intention and how you think in your space, creating these sensual pleasure objects is very mindful and very deep.

Adele: Thank you. I think a lot of people do manage to– The work kind of communicates that. Other people not so much, they don't get it. But I think my people on Instagram really get where I'm coming from, which is quite reassuring.

But yeah, I've always had this passion for ceramics. Which started many, many years ago. So I come from an Irish Catholic background, I was the eldest of seven. So I had to kind of pave the way, had the hard path for the others. And I was very close to my grandmother and she had this big cabinet that was full of ceramic jugs of all different ages, shapes, forms. It was huge, like floor to ceiling. And I would just be fascinated by the objects.

And what I liked about the objects is that although there were beautiful pieces, some of them were very artful, they were also functional. And we have a connection with ceramic that we don't have with any other material. And so I think that's kind of where the work developed from.

I mean, that's when I was really, really young. But then I kind of got into a lot of feminist kind of essays and questioning women's role in society. And obviously, being brought up as a Roman Catholic where sex is not really spoken about, especially not before marriage, and masturbation even less so. Quite a challenge to kind of start having discussions with my family when I started to kind of do what I do now and it started to kind of take this form.

Ashley: Well, and I did want to talk to you because I really want to circle back to your voice on Instagram and in the work you do is advocating for sensuality and sexuality. And I don't want to say just the feminine, but for all sexes. But you also speak to gender inclusion and racial inclusion and offer a lot of insight there and a lot of, I’m just going to say advocation again, you're very active. But let's come back to that.

That gap of you as a young child you were seeing these ceramics in your home from your grandmother. And then do you mean we as people have a close relation to ceramics or you?

Adele: Yeah. Yeah, and I think that's where the subversion comes along. Because it's something that we're so used to using, we don't even think about it in our everyday lives. I mean, from your teacup or your coffee cup, to your basin in the bathroom, to kind of porcelain dental fillings, hip replacements. You know, there's so many components that are made out of ceramic and we don't even think about it, but we have this real primal connection with it.

People just want to, you know, when they see my objects in real life, they just want to touch them and hold them. Not necessarily kind of use them in an intimate way. But they just have that that you don't get with metal or wood or anything else in quite the same way, I think.

Ashley: So did you attend say art school? I know you're talking about the feminism and then moving into this work. But were you in art school and you were creating and working with ceramics and then decided to move into this or when did that leap happen?

Adele: I always thought that I wanted to be a fine artist initially, because you go to art college, you become a fine artist. And so that's the path I started to do. Plus the high school that I went to had a very low budget for the art center. So we got to play with ceramics once.

And I remember that session. I made this, I think I must have been like 15, but I made this terracotta plate and I think my mom's still got it somewhere. But it costs so much to fire a kiln that they would only do this one session for our whole like two years there doing the course.

So anyway, I went off to do an art foundation, and you sample lots of different forms of art and mixed media, graphic design. I kind of started moving into three dimensional design. And I had applied to do jewelry at several different universities that had places to do that. Because, again, it's something were you interact with, it's kind of wearable art.

But I had an opportunity to do a ceramic session after hours again. They didn't offer it in full time hours, it was something that you had to kind of commit to outside in your own time. I did one session and I was like, “Oh my god, this is what I want to do.” And then I started kind of doing additional classes after college in ceramics.

And then went to art college to do studio ceramics for a couple of years. And then decided this is definitely what I want. A bit non-committal at first. It's like, “I don't know, if I want to publicly put myself in.” I think as well, I was kind of concerned with the fusty image around being a potter. And I didn't want to be one of those potters. No disrespect to any potter's out there, but it’s like I don’t know if that's me.

But there's just an alchemy with the material that you don't really get with anything else. And it's this kind of gray mass, this plastic lump and you can just transform into so many things. It can be art, it can be sculptural, it can be functional, it can be scientific.

I mean, people dedicate their lives just to exploring glazes and what you can do with surface design and stuff like that. So it really kind of ignited something in me that the other materials hadn’t. Which was kind of unexpected in a way.

Ashley: And then when did you decide from okay, I'm going to be a potter and work with ceramics?

Adele: So I did studio ceramics for a year and they wanted me to stay on and do a second year. But I had the chance to apply to Central Saint Martin's, which is quite well renowned in the UK for all aspects of art and design.

I think I called on the day they were closing applications and I was just like, “I'm just going to go in with it. Is there any chance that you know, there's still space left to apply?” And they're like, “Yes, come for an interview next week.” And they offered me the place there and then and I was thrilled.

So what I really liked about Saint Martin's was that it wasn't just traditional pottery, it was [inaudible] in ceramic design. So you got to explore lots of design processes, which is where I fell in love with the process that I use predominantly for my work now.

Which is sculpting and plaster and taking a mold from that plaster model and casting with liquid clay. So each one can be kind of replicated up to a certain point. But the patination of the pieces, the marbling on each piece is spontaneous, so I can't replicate what happens with kind of the patina on each piece, if that makes sense.

Ashley: Right, they're individual and unique.

Adele: Yeah.

Ashley: Like a snowflake.

Adele: Yeah.

Ashley: Yes.

Adele: Like each and every one of us.

Ashley: Yes, absolutely. So you took that coursework or you went through that, what was the first sex object you made, pleasure object?

Adele: So that wasn't until I did a collaboration with Coco de Mer. So I was in my final year at Saint Martin's and I was doing lots of projects that were around themes around the Madonna whore complex. So I was doing lots of collage art kind of prints on ceramics that brought in kind of like religious iconography and kind of the prostitute and kind of mixed that all together and like the pinup and lots of florals and stuff. Kind of inspired a little bit by like human poster art, that kind of Mexicana vibe.

Anyway, so that was kind of the undercurrent in my work. And I approached Coco de Mer to do an internship with them. And they asked me if I could come along and show them my portfolio. And they were like, “Actually, do you want to collaborate?” I’m like, “Yes, please.” So that was in my final year?

Ashley: I didn't realize that Coco de Mer had something– That's amazing.

Adele: Yeah. So we had lots of conversations over what we would kind of create and they showed me things that they were kind of inspired by. And I took a little bit from column A and B And then kind of came up with the pieces that I think you've seen before with the rose designs.

Ashley: From the workshops?

Adele: Before the workshops. So it's similar. Yeah, I think you saw it when you were at the workshop in LA.

Ashley: Yeah.

Adele: I think I had a couple of examples, yeah. A hidden vulva inside the Victorian kind of rose.

Ashley: Because you guys just did another collaboration together. Was it a similar floral print?

Adele: No, no, no, that's the same. The stuff I'm doing with them now is the same as I was doing back in 2006. It’s like a long standing–

Ashley: I love that. Okay, great. Yes, so I've seen it recently as well.

Adele: But they just released like a reel with the process and stuff, which they haven't shared before. Which was really cool because I think Coco de Mer has got this changed hands a few times and the image has become quite kind of glossy, more towards the lingerie audience now.

But, yeah, they shared that reel the other day, they asked me for footage of different stages of the process and stuff. And people loved it because they never get to see that because it's all so beautiful and curated. So I think it was nice for them to perhaps see another side of the process.

Ashley: I love it. Yeah, absolutely. Well, since you brought it up, when I had Teddy's for Bettys I had come across your work. And when I found it, I was incredibly intrigued by the idea of the decorated dildo workshop, or the diletto, I'm not sure how you were advertising it at the time.

But I was like, “I have to go to London to go to one. I just have to do this.” I thought it would be the most fun and empowering workshop that I could ever go to. But at the time I was like, “Can I go to London?” But I looked on your site and literally, you were doing one in California and it was my birthday.

Adele: Was it literally the timing was like that?

Ashley: I'm going to California to do this thing for my birthday. So that ended up happening and we met there.

And I remember, at first even as you know I’m in this space, in this world with a lingerie store and sex toys, and in a fairly open person, but I was definitely nervous to walk into this room where I didn't know anybody. I didn't know what to expect or what it was going to be like.

And, as always, so quickly humbled because it was like literally within minutes, you're at a table where everyone has the same intention and understanding of openness. And because we had this one event, if you will, in common where we're decorating our dilettos. And it's like, of course we have things in common, these are your people. This is your community.

Adele: This is your tribe.

Ashley: Yeah. And it was so much fun. It was so much fun.

Adele: I think it was you, one of the first people who said this is like therapy.

Ashley: Yeah, it was like therapy. And the amount of thought that went into this object that I knew that I was going to be intimate with and that I was going to be using with my body and I was going to look at it and have it. I was creating my own pleasure object.

And to say that statement doesn't sound like anything, but when you are in that space, and that thinking, and that imagination and creativity, to be able to do that. And I was so proud of it, everyone has seen it.

Adele: It was beautiful. It was beautiful.

Ashley: Yeah. And I remember one girl there, or one woman, she just put on the inside, I can't remember it was like a flower or a letter.

Adele: It was bound hands.

Ashley: Bound hands, yes. And that's all she put on hers and I was like, “That is amazing.” Mine was like this insane collage. I was like, “I want everything on here.”

Adele: I think there were orchids. There were orchids, there was I think cliteracy or pussification, something like that was on it.

Ashley: Yeah, cliteracy is on mine.

Adele: Yeah.

Ashley: And after that, I was like, “We have to have something like this in person, in Texas, in my space, with my community.” Because I couldn't stop talking about it. And then I closed the shop, but we've been in touch since. And still, my plan is to have you here because I can't imagine a more exciting activity for people to do when they come together to create these objects.

Adele: It's the conversations that are had as well, not necessarily just the process. I think the process is really good for people. I mean, art can be healing and therapeutic.

But I think the conversations, and it's so different from group to group. But you can have intimate conversations, like conversations you might not even have with your closest friend or your partner that you're sat around a table. But yet you've got this unity and this kind of supportive, safe space. Which I think that's the thing that surprised me the most when I started doing the workshops. And how after some of them I was quite emotional as well.

Ashley: Well it’s a very vulnerable space.

Adele: Yeah.

Ashley: It’s really vulnerable what people share and you walk away where you're like, “We're definitely not strangers anymore.”

Adele: Absolutely, yeah, I think as well, when I first started doing them I couldn't really find the words or articulate what it was that was going on. But I knew that it was special and I knew that it was something that people needed as well.

And I think initially people were like, “Oh yeah, it's just a bit of fun.” You know, hen party kind of vibes and stuff. But then you go, then you realize that actually there's something deeper at play. It's not just surface level.

Ashley: Socially speaking, women haven't been empowered to own our own sexual and sensuality. It's been about for pleasing somebody else, right.

Adele: Absolutely.

Ashley: To be able to own that and take responsibility for it and for ourselves and our own pleasure is, you almost feel like it's rebellious.

Adele: It is, absolutely.

Ashley: But it’s our birth right.

Adele: Yeah.

Ashley: And so there's this conflict there were there's a recognition of like, “Wait, this is my body and this is my pleasure, and I get to own that.” How is it that that is an act of rebellion in this world? Or even something that is shamed or criticized or you're kind of cast out as a certain type when you are in that space?

Which I think you can relate to as being someone who works in this, I'll just keep referring to it as this space, there's a lot of push back.

Adele: A lot.

Ashley: A lot, can you tell us what your experience has been like with that?

Adele: So I have had posts removed. I have been shadow banned, I think previously, you know, zero or no interaction after posting things. And sex positive, nothing explicit or anything like that. I'm not able to promote any of my workshops or anything.

Although there are bigger brands that can do that. I think if you have enough money, you can promote anything on Instagram, perhaps. Are we allowed to say that?

And then there's certain events that I've applied to and have been turned away from because of what I do. And even studio shares. I have my own workspace now, but there were places that I'd applied to, you know, shared spaces, and was turned away.

And it could be for any reason, but I know. You know, you just have that knowing, because I've seen it enough in real life. And also the responses from, I don't want to, not all guys, but a lot of guys. The same questions always, and this is not to do with the censorship, I’m kind of going off on a tangent here.

Let me go back to the censorship, I was paralyzed by fear of posting because most of my community is Instagram based. Because what I do is so visual, so aesthetic, that's where my audience is. And so a while back I was worried about posting anything at all in case my account got completely closed down. That was about six months ago.

So yeah, I mean, it forces people to be creative throughout these times of hardship, good things can come. But when you're a one person operation and you are making the things, and you're promoting the things, and you're writing about the things, and you're making connections with people, you don't have time to relearn things all the time. Or to start up new communities or think of ways to kind of outsmart the algorithms and stuff.

Ashley: I struggle with the censorship because what we're doing is educating and empowering. And, like you said, it's sex positive. And it's the opposite of what they should be banning. Actually this is the message that we want to get across to prevent what is happening that we would want to have censored, right?

Adele: Yeah, exactly.

Ashley: Yeah. And I too completely identify with– In Texas it's as, I’m sure you've heard, very conservative. And in Austin it's a little less, but it's still Texas and people really don't– When I say like, “You're still in Texas,” they don't believe me. But when I opened up, just trying to find a space to rent for a lingerie store that was going to have a select few items, at the time novelty items if you will, denied, denied. Denied leases.

Adele: No way.

Ashley: Denied bank loans, denied business insurance. And I knew because they were like, “Because of those types of products we can't really.” I remember being interviewed by one landlord’s team, and this woman, she's like, “Do you really think you'll be able to sell things like that here?”

And I felt so defeated in so many ways, because I was like, “What do you–” And people are like, “Well, if I ever need something like that, I'll come visit you.” And I'm like, “First of all, when you start wearing bras and panties you should totally come in. But second, it’s sex, everybody's having it. what are you talking about?”

And it took me a long time to like really see what I was up against for a long time. And I shifted my position to, I think, I allowed for them to put me sort of in a different space and place.
I shifted my voice and my presentation of these things because it was just like, “God, okay, I got it. I don't want to have to work that hard just to convince you guys to come in so I will word it and phrase it in ways that will soften the edges on what you think this is to get you in the door.” But it was so much emotional work and energy just to be in that space.

Adele: Yeah, I feel you. There are days when you think, “I have nothing more to give.” But you do, I think there are moments where you're like, every so often I go through this cycle of, “Am I on the right path? How do I know I'm on the right path?”

And then I'll have an experience like that. I’m like, no, this is why I need to be doing what I'm doing. Or I'll have some feedback from somebody that will be telling me their experience of using or buying one of my products, and it just shifts everything. I’m like no, back in focus again and this is worthwhile.

Ashley: Yeah, 100%. Yeah, I took some time, once I closed the shop I went into coaching and I was like, “I don't want to talk about sex. I don't want to talk about this.” I was so over the effort. And then after, it's just been in the last six months where I was like, “Wait, that's my space. That's always been my space, it keeps coming back up.”

And considering the community where I am, like I have a voice there and I feel that it is actually my responsibility to use that voice. My freedom of my body and my sexuality and my sensuality, that voice, I'm able to liberate others and I feel very called to that. Especially in the past few weeks we've had some terrible laws passed here against abortion rights.

Adele: Yeah, I'm following that. Yeah.

Ashley: And the instinct is like, “I do not want to live here. This is not my space, this isn't my community.” And then after like a week or so I was like, No, actually, my voice needs to be here because it's one of the few that I want to understand where you're coming from when you say that this is acceptable. Help me understand you, and your conditioned beliefs and everything that you've been taught that says that that's okay for you to turn someone in if they're getting a ride to an abortion clinic, you know, like this bounty protocol. And help me understand why you think it's a sin, or all of these things. I want to know so that I can then tell you our side and our rights.

I'm astonished that 60% of white women voting for people in a position to create laws against females bodies, or female bodies and bodies with vaginas. It blows my mind. I’m like, “Yeah, no, you know what? Suck it up. This is your work, you got to put that stuff away and keep using your voice and keep educating yourself.”

Adele: Absolutely. Otherwise it's just an echo chamber, isn't it?

Ashley: You did mention with your family, Catholic Irish, and I imagine community, like we know the online censorship. What was that like with people in your life and what you do? And going back to the commentary and the beliefs that like maybe men impose on you or the questions that they have? And other women, I'm sure.

Adele: Yeah. So my family, I have to say, are really supportive, kind of considering. I think at first, my mum– My mum said the word dildo recently and I was like, “Yes, we’re there. We've made it.” And she's having conversations with other people about what I do.

And I think now she's kind of like, because she's seen more the kind of angle that I'm coming from. And there is more of a, there's definitely a spiritual element to what I do which I think I didn't really used to kind of speak to so much, because I thought it would polarize people. But I'm like, “This is part of who I am. And it is in the work. So it needs to be spoken about.”
And I think maybe that might have kind of changed her attitude towards it a little bit. Plus the fact that they're beautiful objects in themselves. I think my mom is a sucker for aesthetic.

Ashley: They are beautiful. They're like art objects.

Adele: I think I do have, you probably got pictures that you're going to put up, but I did grab a couple of pieces.

Ashley: The spur, look at that.

Adele: The spur, this is my favorite. And I do have another couple of designs that are in the process at the moment. But when I have some time to actually do some new things I will finish them off.

Ashley: They're so beautiful, Adele.

Adele: Are you happy with yours?

Ashley: I'm loving them. I was actually going to speak to that and I wanted to hear from you also. You know, now that you have them out, let's talk about that. So the first shape you created was the diletto or the dildo and it's a–

Adele: Hot-cold dildo.

Ashley: Yeah. And I love how it feels in my body, I love the shape of it. It is like the perfect diameter and depth for me. And the porcelain itself, I really take to that in my body, I prefer it. I'm not a huge fan of a lot of silicone products.

And I noticed online, there was that conversation where somebody else was like, “That just seems hard. And it seems this.” And I'm like, it is interesting how we all have different preferences. It looks like just, you know, there's no shaft shape to it. It's just this simple bullet line insertion.

And I'm so obsessed with it. And I like to combine it using either a vibrator or recently I was like, “I'm going to figure out how to use the Ose 2, I'm not sure if you're familiar with that object.

Adele: Which one is that?

Ashley: So Lora Dicarlo she's–

Adele: Oh, yes, I know the one, yeah.

Ashley: Yeah, the oral sex simulation. And it's not a vibration, it's like this air and this flickering. Like it is the most mind bending orgasm I've ever had. I was like, “I wonder if I can use these two together.” And I used my new marbled one that you sent on its own and with the Ose and then after, and I was like, “Oh my god, I'm dead. Done. Done, I see God, I know me so well.”

Adele: You’ve reached bliss.

Ashley: I was like floating. I talked to my friend later that day and she was like, “Are you okay?” And I was like, “Oh my God, I feel like I’m on– Like I might as well have injected heroin, probably like or MDMA. Like nothing matters right now, I feel so good.”

I also pulled out the plugs for that session as well. And the smaller one I was like, “I'll have to kind of work with that.” I might actually prefer to have someone play with me in this or I just need to try some other positions with it.

But going back to the diletto, I ended up using that for rear entry and I thought that was also the perfect shape for anal play.

Adele: Oh, that's good to know.

Ashley: Perfect size for me and shape. Yeah, it was like it's just the right amount of–

Adele: It's very gradual taper on that as well isn’t it?

Ashley: Yeah. I haven't used the spur yet.

Adele: Oh, haven't you?

Ashley: No, because then everything got packed up.

Adele: Of course.

Ashley: Well, funny story, I thought they packed up all my pleasure items, and then I said something about it and they were like, “Oh, no, we left all that in the drawer for you.” And I was like, “Oh, you guys are the best.” Damn, I didn’t know it was there the whole time. It would have given me something to do. So no, no to the spur. No to the spur, that's coming up soon. Any tips on how to use that one?

Adele: So a lot of people would say they think you start this way. But for me, my preferred way to use it is using the thicker end. And so you gradually kind of insert it. I like using this with a natural oil and massaging externally first the vulva and then gradually working down to the entrance of the vagina.

And when I insert it, you have to kind of insert it like this. So like, almost tip it in, and you don't have to insert it too far into the vaginal canal. I know that looks like a really serious kind of girth. But you just want this to kind of hit your G spot. And it kind of almost hooks into position if you apply pressure on this while stimulating the clitoris as well.

This is my favorite. I literally am just like, “Don't bother. Don't bother with the others.”

Ashley: Oh wow. So I want to describe a little bit to people who can't see it. The shape of it, yeah, it has like a bulbous top and the spur, if you imagine like it, I don't want to say like a hook but it kind of veers over so you have kind of like a very smooth but bulbous hook like tip.

Adele: Yeah.

Ashley: Does that make sense? And then where Adele is holding it is much more narrow, which is where she was like people might think to put that end first because it's smaller. And that at the top–

Adele: This would be the end for pleasure, for me personally. I mean but everybody is different, so I think the thing is to experiment. But this is also great for neck and shoulder massage as well.

Ashley: I was just going to say that. And I felt that way about the butt plugs. I was like, “Look, if it ends up that you're not into it anally, this is a great massage tool.” It gets into those hard to reach, like in the middle of your shoulder blades.

Adele: Yeah.

Ashley: It would be so nice.

Adele: And so I think one of the biggest questions I get is like the comment that you saw on Instagram about them being quite hard. But for me that's one of the benefits. I like feeling something very kind of rigid inside me. I like feeling like I've got something to really grip onto and I find that very satisfying.

Ashley: I’m with you on that. I'm taking some certification courses in tantric conscious sexuality, and one of the courses is we're talking about pussy massages.

And that spur, to me, seems like it If you're not using hands that would be really good. Because sometimes it's more difficult for your own self to reach to your G spot in that way and create squirting or ejaculation. But it seems like the spur would be the way to go and do that if you didn't have someone able to do the massage for you.

Adele: Yeah, absolutely. I would agree.

Ashley: Yeah. So I will be using it, everybody. I will be using it and reviewing it quite shortly.

So the other one that I like, but for an aesthetic art reason, I like the shaft as a piece of art.

Adele: The phallus.

Ashley: The phallus, yes.

Adele: Yeah.

Ashley: Mine is marbled pink, and it's gorgeous.

Adele: I'm pleased you like it. So they all have like an inspirational reference point. I don't know if you've read up about the different pieces and where the inspiration comes from. But the inspiration for the phallus is Hokusai, who is like a Japanese Shunga artist, you know, the erotic kind of woodblock prints and stuff like that. I can't remember what century it is now, like 18th century or something, I think.

And there was an image of his where it had the most beautiful shaped penis, and I was like, “This is art, like I have to.” So I did some kind of reference drawings and then kind of simplified it. Took all the veins off and made it really streamlined. And the inspiration came from his artwork.

The diletto and the plug are very 1930s Art Deco style. Like the Cleopatra's Needle and some architectural kind of buildings and stuff like that I looked at for those lines and curves and stuff. The kind of triangular width and circular geometry, like that repetition I thought was really attractive. So that's what inspired the other pieces as well.

Ashley: No, see, I had no idea about all that. Which again, it just makes it even more, there's just, there's so much to these pieces.

Adele: Maybe I should do the story of each piece.

Ashley: Absolutely. Those would be incredible reels to do to inform people. Because personally it is one thing to get a piece– Well, to know, you want to know where your inspiration came from. I love the idea of where each one is marble differently and the intention that you have in that way.

When you're creating items, what you're thinking about. And I've heard you talk about how you have like words of affirmation, right? Or you pick a word for the products when you're doing that. And sometimes you ask your audience like, “What do you think?” And people comment on the thread.

Adele: Yeah.

Ashley: But to know where you're getting inspired by the shapes and where you're seeing other art and it's informing your art and the sensuality of it, that's amazing to me.

Adele: Oh, thank you. It those little things where I’m like, “I don't know, does anybody really want to know about this?” But it turns out that they actually do.

Ashley: Oh, 100%. I mean, again, your voice and what you're doing in this in this space is beyond creating, you're not creating sex toys, right? It's like you're creating these beautiful objects, like you said, that have so much more meaning to them and intention. And it's beyond like just a one and done or the use of for this one reason, there's so much more to them.

Adele: I think it really changes your relationship with them and how you interact with them when you use them as well. And within partnered play too, I think it's a very different experience.

Ashley: Yeah.

Adele: Personally anyway, I can't speak to everybody else. But that’s the feedback that I get and my own experiences with my partner as well.

Ashley: Yeah. Speaking of partner play, do you have some that you recommend or prefer for that? I mean, I know they all are good for it, but in your experience.

Adele: All good for it. The combination of the spur and the plug. Also, the really tapered, the petite plug, which I don't think you have. It's one that you can decorate at the dildo decorating workshops, which isn't always just dildos, you can do plugs as well.

But it's a very simple, clean kind of shape. It's more of a bulbous end here, so I think if you're a beginner you feel a little bit more confident in using it. And when using it with a partner as well you feel like they have more kind of control over it too.

So yeah, that for anal play for beginners and the spur as well, that's something that my partner and I always go to.

Ashley: Because I'm loving my tote, as I’ve told everybody. I love my T-shirt and my tote. But that tote is, seriously I was like, “We might have to right market on here also because it demands I market.” It’s so spacious.

But what inspired, I mean other than the obvious, but some of the merch that you're making where it's meditate and masturbate? What made you
decide?

Adele: Where did that come from?

Ashley: Yeah.

Adele: So last year, I mean, I've always had an interest in esoteric, more spiritual stuff. I practice Kundalini Yoga. And last year during lockdown when everyone was losing their shit, including me, I was like, “Okay, I have to anchor myself in something.”

So that was every day meditation. And the combination of meditation and masturbation was just like, you know, if you want to be healthy, I think those are the two things that are really going to transform your day, your week, your month, your year.

Ashley: Yeah.

Adele: I think showing up for yourself in those ways. But also, it is just a bit of fun as well.

Ashley: It's super fun. Yeah, after 2020 I also was like, “How do I move through life when these types of things are happening? And also when life seems mundane and boring?” And I was like, “How do I live a pleasurable, turned on life all the time?”

And so in my mind I was like, “I'm going to create this renegades guide to living an erotic life.” And the pillars of that are movement, mindfulness, masturbation, meditation, and then medicine, like the foods and the things that we put in our body.

Adele: Nutrition, yeah.

Ashley: Yeah, those are the core. I was like, “if I'm paying attention to those things, and they're the highest priority, you can't go wrong.” And so I've been talking about that, and one of my clients gave me a gift recently, it's a hat. And it says, “meditate, masturbate, caffeinate.” I was like, “That's pretty good.” But I don't like to be over caffeinated, so mine is masturbate, meditate, hydrate.” You got to hydrate.

Adele: You got to hydrate, for sure.

Ashley: I think water is so important.

Adele: Yeah.

Ashley: That's going to be my shirt, for sure. And then the leather pieces, are you making the leather or are you sourcing that?

Adele: So the leather is a collaboration with a leather designer. And there are some accessories, like jewelry accessories where we combine the porcelain pieces with kind of leather chokers, and lanyards and stuff. And then there's also some body wear. So harnesses that the phallus can be used in, for example.

And I met Jessie, she's like a fireball. So when I was working with somebody else, some of my pieces come in leather packaging. So I think you have the option to purchase with or without my websites. So you can go with cotton or you can go with the lamb nappa, which is all handmade by her now.

But yeah, I went to try and do them myself because the person that was making them for me before, I had too much on the schedule and she couldn't do the packaging in that occasion. I was like, “People need this, people want this.” So I was trying to figure it out by myself.

And then I bumped into her in this workshop and we were like thick as thieves from that moment. And we both get a lot of energy from each other. We're both really inspired by each other, but quite different as well. Like we're polars but we're very complimentary. And whenever we get together, we always just have these ideas about what we could create together.

And her process is each piece is cut by hand, it's all about the way that you work with material. And everything is kind of made to measure, apart from some of the chokers and things that are more easy just to kind of have kind of fixed sizing.

So yeah, we came up with this collection called Oya, and it was Oya between the lines. So it's to do with kind of owning, I don't know, don't get me wrong, with some harnesses you put on and they feel like you become more submissive in the harness wear.

But we wanted people to feel kind of empowered and like goddess like, and like I'm owning this. So that's the collection that we created and the pieces that you can layer up and you can wear in the bedroom or out of the bedroom layered over clothing. They feel more like yeah, more like armor in some cases, than just like a little harness.

Ashley: Well the pieces that I got with the leather pouch, they're beautiful and they're so soft. They're incredibly lovely. I like having the pieces in there, it elevates what's already elevated in my mind, but I'm like, “Yes, you deserve this beautiful pouch.”

Adele: It’s so tact. I think the thing that people kind of forget about in the whole pleasure process is the materials that you use are really important. That tactility is an element of the sensuality and the kind of ritual and ceremony, and it does elevate the whole experience.

Ashley: Yeah, I was intrigued and I'm still curious and interested in the harnesses. And we used to sell them at Teddy's for Bettys and I love the idea of wearing them out. And I think that was, I don't know, because obviously, we're not going out like we were, I mean, people are starting to.

But there was a very trendy fashion thing happening where people were wearing harnesses over their tops and dresses when they’d go out. And I think it's so fun and really fashion forward. I was starting to really consider it. I'd been watching Broad City, I'm not sure if you're familiar with that series.

Adele: No.

Ashley: I highly recommend it. It's very sex positive, and they were having conversations that, for me, I didn't have growing up. So it was two young women living in Brooklyn, and they're comedians. So the show is very funny. But they're tackling like very current topics that need to be addressed about women and sexuality and religion and race. So you're getting it in 30 minute clips of humor, but also, like, wake up.

One of the characters identifies as queer and she puts on a harness and she's standing there and she's talking about doing this thing. And for a minute I was like, “Could I actually do that?” Because, like you said, some harnesses are like a submissive role. But in my mind, I'm like, that's actually the power, you know, there's so much pressure to perform.

And immediately when I thought about putting it on, I was like you would be in the position to be the one giving pleasure and I felt that pressure. And I was like, “Wow, this is eye opening.” And I feel like, because I'm considering what it's like for me and my experiences with men, they have this pressure to perform to make me feel good, and to do all this.

And I was like, could I switch that role and own that, like walk into that position? Obviously, I didn't hit send, I haven't ordered my harness. But it's something I'm playing with in my mind because I’m like could I actually do that?

Adele: Contemplating, yeah.

Ashley: I don't know if I could do it. Obviously, I'm going to let everybody know if I can and when I do.

Adele: Yeah, please.

Ashley: I need advice it sounds like. Maybe I need coaching on that. But luckily, I have the items in which I can do that. I will just need to get the harness from you. Which they look, like I said, they look lovely. Really well constructed.

Adele: Thank you.

Ashley: Mm-hmm. So I think we can wrap this up. Obviously, I want you to tell the listeners where they can find you. Because you do writing, we have your website, we have your Instagram where you do a lot of writing.

Adele: Website, Instagram, I don't really use Twitter so much. Yeah, TikTok as well, but I can't find time for all of them. So my main is Instagram and website.

Ashley: And what are those? Tell us.

Adele: Oh, yeah, sorry, that would be helpful, wouldn’t it?

Ashley: I mean I’m going to put it in the show notes, so it doesn't really matter. I just like to hear you talk.

Adele: www.adelebryidges.com, and Brydges is spelled B-R-Y-D-G-E-S. And @adelebrydges on Instagram. And my workshops can be found @decorateadildo.

Ashley: We are going to bring you here for a workshop.

Adele: I can't wait. I do, I miss traveling with workshops so much. So it's long overdue. But if we can't do it in person, then we'll have to do some kind of–

Ashley: I bet we figure out something online, especially as people have gotten used to live Zooms and live workshops. I'm like if Tony Robbins can host like a million people in a coaching destiny with your desire, like surely we can decorate dildos with the technology.

Adele: Yeah, we’ll find a way. We’ll find a way.

Ashley: Do you have any coming up in London soon?

Adele: I have one coming up. So I'm exhibiting at The Other Art Fair in the Truman Brewery just off Brick Lane in London and Shoreditch. And there will be a workshop there on Friday the 15th, on the night of the opening. I have one on the 25th of September in the Depot. So one of the 25th of September, one of the 15th of October.

And then I'm starting a new four part course in collaboration with Moon House, which I'm very excited about. But we're still kind of wrapping up some of the details, so I can't say too much.

Ashley: I do need to follow because you've got some things coming up.

Adele: Yeah, cycles of the moon, moon energies along with the astrological houses that the moon moves through, and creating a dildo with lots of intention that's inspired by those energies and archetypes.

Ashley: That sounds really cool. Very cool. Yeah.

Adele: I’m excited, very nervous.

Ashley: Well, I think nervous and excited are the same. It's just the different thoughts.

Adele: Yeah, exactly. One is positive, one is negative. I’m excited.

Ashley: Yeah, let’s stick with the excited. Yeah, for sure. That's so wonderful. Well, until we meet again. I will be writing my reviews on House of Other for the items that I've received from you. And we will be figuring out a way to have a workshop, it's going to have to happen.

And then in my mind, I feel like I'm going to come see you in November and I just feel like something's going to be happening when I'm there. It just seems like that's how that's going to work.

Adele: Yeah, for sure. The intentional dildo decorating, there will be another design by then as well. I think that will be sometime in November, but I'll keep you posted. Let me know when you're going to be here.

Ashley: Well, thank you so much for sharing your time with us today.

Adele: Thanks for having me, it's been a pleasure.

Ashley: Always good to talk to you.

Adele: You too, and I can’t wait to see how House of Other develops and grows in the coming months. Sounds like you've got lots on.

Ashley: It's so fun. All right, I'll talk to you soon.

Adele: Take care, bye.

Ashley: Bye.

Renegades, thank you for tuning in and turning on each week. In addition to subscribe to this podcast on Apple or Spotify, I want to invite you to join me on another journey.
I've created a space called The House of Other, it's an unedited guide to finding pleasure. People assume I know good sex, where to go for a date, what hotel to meet your lover at, what to wear, what toy will make you orgasm. They're not wrong. This has literally been my life's work from running a lingerie store for 10 years and curating the best lingerie and wellbeing products, as well as recommending new ideas and places and experiences that might enhance the energy between people sexually, evoke eroticism, to working with and coaching people on their dating and love lives, and writing about it.

House of Others is a space where you will find my ratings and reviews on my experiences, opinions, and recommendations of products, places, and spaces I'm indulging in. I'll be here to tell you just how orgasmic the latest object is. How pleasurable the product feels. If the shower was really doable, and the hotel a portal for you and your lover to escape. Safe to say, I'm not looking for rooms with Pelatons.

You'll also find conversations and essays addressing all things cliteracy. I love connecting. I love an orgasm a day. I love the process of going out. And I love the process of trying to figure out new ways to make the ordinary, unordinary. And I really love talking about it.

Think of House of Other like a travel or food blog. The difference being I'm writing it with an O factor. I'm taking my tune in and turn on to another level. Join me by subscribing to houseofother.blog. Again, just go onto the internet, houseofother.blog, and you can subscribe on the homepage. I'll see you there.

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