It’s been one year since I made the decision to close Tforb- some of you were surprised and thought it sudden. Some of you might be hearing for the first time!
The truth is, I’d known it was over for years. I dragged it out because my identity was wrapped up in it, was full of fear and I didn’t want to fail.
The business closing was more than burnout- it was poor financial management and planning.
I was so afraid of everyone knowing I wasn’t successful. That I didn’t know what I was doing… especially when I looked around and saw everyone else doing it.
This fierceness that you see is really a girl who has been trying to survive. I’ve been pretending things are one way, but behind the scenes and in my mind, I’ve always been guarded, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
My therapist told me repeatedly that my mind would come in handy if we ever needed to know everything that might or could go wrong.
I’ve grown tired of this mindset though.
Exhausted actually. I’ve decided i don’t want to pretend like I know what the fuck is happening. Always stay strong. Nor do I want to freak out about not knowing. I mean, does anyone know how to do it all? I’m serious, right now some of you are thinking, well so and so really knows- no they don’t. And even if they do, stay in your lane. You know what, that might be the most important point I make. Ever.
Starting another business has been something I’ve had to coach myself, on daily. That I wanted to do it again. That I’m more than capable of doing it. That this work is my purpose. That the last 10 years shaped me and taught me everything I needed to know to work with my clients. (Insider Info: when starting a new business, or anything for that matter, don’t refer to your past for evidence on how to. If the past you knew how than you’d already be doing it. In the present moment, see your future self and find out who that is as the person with that business)
The thought work and deliberate thinking is FEVER PITCH. and it has to be in order for you to overcome your own internal and external obstacles.
I truly believe failing at running a retail operation was exactly what needed to happen for me to understand how to ride the wave of business, emotionally and logistically.
I find the word ‘fail’, can be worn like A badge of honor.
So many of you are scared. Scared to start the business because it might fail. So what if it fails? What does that mean?
Failing evolves you. Every time you fail you build yourself up. You prove that you can face not knowing, learn, handle rejection, humiliation- and survive it all. THAT’S growth, Renegades. When you can fall, like tumble down a flight of stairs in a little black dress, ask for help, grab your loose change off the ground and stand up, AND laugh a little through the tears of pain,
YOU CAN DO N. E. THING.
I’m here to tell you; Now that I’ve felt failure, embarrassment some shame AND didn’t sell my business for billions, I’m like, well. If plan b doesn’t make it, at least I know it won’t kill me.
It will give me the self confidence to go another round.
I’m going to go add FAILURE to my LinkedIn now.
